Bard’s Oration 2012
“Referendum Day”
(Tune, “The Wee Toon Clerk”)
This years big phenomenon, or so it seems tae me
For it dominates the papers, the wireless and TV.
Its caused stooshies spats and posturing, and angry words as well,
so will things ever be resolved ? Well only time will tell.
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
Eck feels he’s got a mandate, tae dae things all his way,
so a’ the folk in Scotland, can really have their say
and the Unionists in Westminster, who’s breeks they must be crappin’,
efter setting up a system, where this wasnae meant tae happen.
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
The Unionists, Were panicking, or that’s the way it looks
so Goldie, Gray and Tavish Scott a’ got their bloody books,
They’ve a’ brought in their second string but things have no’ got better
If ye thought the last lot were a’ wets, well this lot’s even wetter
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
And they’re callin’ for consensus, wi every interjection
But were they half sae keen on that, before the last election?
In midst o a’ this is wee Eck, and he’s laughin fit tae burst
For Whatever dirty tricks they try, he always comes in first.
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
So they now resort tae calling names, or calling for a date,
but it winna matter much at a’, for Wee Eck isna blate.
And of course, the Daily Ranger, aye has its daily snipe,
but wha cares what the Record thinks, for the Record’s bloody tripe!
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
Then the billionaires in Westminster, came in tae join the fray.
Tae run the referendum, so we wouldna have oor say.
Wi’ patronising language they, then tried tae wield big sticks
and tell us how they would step in, the outcome for tae fix
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
But every move they tried tae make, was scuppered by wee Eck
For the Tories and the lib Dems, up in Scotland are a wreck
So in total desperation, they brought in Michael Moore
Tae try tae put Eck in his place, his attempt was really poor
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
Then up and stepped Ed Milliband, who drank a loving cup
Wi’ the Lib Dems and the Tories, God ye couldna make this up
The Bank of England then stepped in, and made some threatening sounds,
saying “if you go independent, we’ll no’ let ye print your pounds”
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
And now we hear most English folk, think we should break away
and gain oor independence, have an independence day,
As for this revelation, well I’m no really surprised.
They’re the readers o’ The Sun, and the Daily Mail who think we’re subsidised.
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
Next up a Tory nincompoop, my lord Flight is his name,
came oot wi a’ the Thatcher myths, that we’re a’ at the benefits game
While the English subsidise us a’, we repay them wi’ abuse.
This lord Flight sure is no’ top flight, he’s just nae bloody use.
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
Then up and steps wee William Haig, and threatens us forsooth
Ye’ll mind o him from the time when, he was founder o’ the Thatcher Youth
And says if independence comes, then whisky will be banned
Frae a’ the British Embassies, in every single land.
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
They must be really running scared, the pathetic Union crew
Instead o’ listening to the folk, what do these lackeys do?
What tools are in their toolbox, tae bring us doon tae size?
Well there’s threats and slurs and insults, and there’s downright bloody lies
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
They cannae be sae stupid, that they dinnae realise
That for every dirty trick they play, for ‘yes’ vote there’s a rise
And who is pullin’ a’ the strings? Its wee Eck , fancy that
in Bute Hoose doon in Charlotte Square, and grinnin’ like a Cheshire cat.
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
Now the consultation has been launched on the street of every toon
and frae now on a’ the Unionists will try tae bring it doon.
They’ve brought in an academic frae way oot west somewhere
And they’re quoting him a sayin’, that the question isnae fair.
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
But fair or not its right in there, and I think its just fine
and talkin’ o’ unfairness, think o’ 1979.
Be it freedom aye or Devo Max, nae matter who’s tae blame
for efter 2014, things will never be the same
Referendum day, endum day, refereferendum day
Bill Hill
January 2012