We need a bard, quoth big McSporran
A hame grown yin. No wan that’s foreign
He need not be smart, but just be wan o’ us
Gie auld McGowan the part. The vote’s unanimous.
So I am charged tae write yez verse
Ma face as rid as a well skelped erse
And if ma lines don’t always scan –
Ah guess you guys will understand.
Next fur discussion was the Supper’s menu
Nae need fur change. Not so the venue.
The Boolin Club is quite a squeezer
Fur ninety guys as big as we are.
Then spake the Chair wi’ wavering voice
Maybes we hae anither choice
Tae leave the Boolin Club wid be a pity
But there’s health concerns in this committee.
The Rugby Club has space a plenty
It could tak another ten or twenty
Less chance of haggis drappin’ on yer kilt
Or hot soup doon yer neck be spilt.
Then bedlam broke oot and uproar
Each member sought to claim the floor
Each keen tae get in tae the action
And thus support his favoured faction.
For the Rugby Club there were loud calls
Frae the guys wha play wi’ odd shaped balls.
Fur the Boolin Club they held aversion
Offering three free pints fur each conversion.
There’s one-sided bias in a bool
A learnt that at physics at the school
But on the choice of venue they widnae bend
They were used tae fightin “end tae end.”
The boolers didn’t want the Club tae go
And wished tae keep the “Status quo.”
Maist o’ them were really furious
Some points they raised were quaint and curious.
“We don’t need hot soup,” said one guy (quite cheeky)
I never liked yon Coack a Leekie
Vichyssoise is a soup that cauld
A spill of that wid nae wan scauld.
Hae the supper in June. It’s then much warmer
We could rent a field frae a local farmer
And change oor caterer tae Tesco
Then hae oor supper oot alfresco.
Swayed by the Chairman’s fine oration
We’re here but yince. It’s on probation
Thank Gor he found a compromise
Withoot “Jeely Noses” and “Black Eyes.”
“We’ll try it only for a year
Then judge the backgrounmd noise we hear
And any other imperfections
We’ll then discuss, – ony mair objections ?”
Well that’s it ower Ah did my best
I ken few members are impressed
Wae whit they heard and whit they saw
The nicht’s bardic note at “Let it Blaw”
I did not know it wi’d be this hard
Tae follow Alex as Club bard
26th January 2019