The AGM

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We need a bard, quoth big McSporran

A hame grown yin. No wan that’s foreign

He need not be smart, but just be wan o’ us

Gie auld McGowan the part. The vote’s unanimous.

So I am charged tae write yez verse

Ma face as rid as a well skelped erse

And if ma lines don’t always scan –

Ah guess you guys will understand.

Next fur discussion was the Supper’s menu

Nae need fur change. Not so the venue.

The Boolin Club is quite a squeezer

Fur ninety guys as big as we are.

Then spake the Chair wi’ wavering voice

Maybes we hae anither choice

Tae leave the Boolin Club wid be a pity

But there’s health concerns in this committee.

The Rugby Club has space a plenty

It could tak another ten or twenty

Less chance of haggis drappin’ on yer kilt

Or hot soup doon yer neck be spilt.

Then bedlam broke oot and uproar

Each member sought to claim the floor

Each keen tae get in tae the action

And thus support his favoured faction.

For the Rugby Club there were loud calls

Frae the guys wha play wi’ odd shaped balls.

Fur the Boolin Club they held aversion

Offering three free pints fur each conversion.

There’s one-sided bias in a bool

A learnt that at physics at the school

But on the choice of venue they widnae bend

They were used tae fightin “end tae end.”

The boolers didn’t want the Club tae go

And wished tae keep the “Status quo.”

Maist o’ them were really furious

Some points they raised were quaint and curious.

“We don’t need hot soup,” said one guy (quite cheeky)

I never liked yon Coack a Leekie

Vichyssoise is a soup that cauld

A spill of that wid nae wan scauld.

Hae the supper in June. It’s then much warmer

We could rent a field frae a local farmer

And change oor caterer tae Tesco

Then hae oor supper oot alfresco.

Swayed by the Chairman’s fine oration

We’re here but yince. It’s on probation

Thank Gor he found a compromise

Withoot “Jeely Noses” and “Black Eyes.”

“We’ll try it only for a year

Then judge the backgrounmd noise we hear

And any other imperfections

We’ll then discuss, – ony mair objections ?”

Well that’s it ower Ah did my best

I ken few members are impressed

Wae whit they heard and whit they saw

The nicht’s bardic note at “Let it Blaw”

I did not know it wi’d be this hard

Tae follow Alex as Club bard

Andy McGowan

26th January 2019